This Is How You’ll Ruin Your Life (In 5 Words), Based On Your Zodiac Sign
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Aries
(March 21st to April 19th)
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Binge-eating until you explode.
Taurus
(April 20th to May 21st)
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The bottomless pit of self-pity.
Gemini
(May 22nd to June 21st)
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A string of lousy decisions.
Cancer
(June 22nd to July 22nd)
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Endlessly dwelling on the past.
Leo
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(July 23rd to August 22nd)
Not making a single plan.
Virgo
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(August 23rd to September 22nd)
An orgy of self-sabotage.
Libra
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(September 23rd to October 22nd)
Stubbornly avoiding the main issue.
Scorpio
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(October 23rd to November 22nd)
Stabbing yourself in the back.
Sagittarius
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(November 23rd to December 21st)
Burning every bridge ever built.
Capricorn
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(December 22nd to January 20th)
Waiting until it’s too late.
Aquarius
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(January 21st to February 18th)
Holding onto every grudge ever.
Pisces
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(February 19th to March 20th)
Forgetting to thank your friends.
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