This Is How You’ll Ruin Your Life (In 5 Words), Based On Your Zodiac Sign

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Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

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Binge-eating until you explode.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

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The bottomless pit of self-pity.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

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A string of lousy decisions.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

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Endlessly dwelling on the past.

Leo

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(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Not making a single plan.

Virgo

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(August 23rd to September 22nd)

An orgy of self-sabotage.

Libra

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(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Stubbornly avoiding the main issue.

Scorpio

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(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Stabbing yourself in the back.

Sagittarius

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(November 23rd to December 21st)

Burning every bridge ever built.

Capricorn

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(December 22nd to January 20th)

Waiting until it’s too late.

Aquarius

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(January 21st to February 18th)

Holding onto every grudge ever.

Pisces

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(February 19th to March 20th)

Forgetting to thank your friends.

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